preteenager: amanda bynes should go to the KCA’s and do the whole Amanda Show opening and she’ll be like “Hey it’s Amanda! And i want @drake to destroy my vagina” and bounce the fuck out of there
almightykushlord: No girl passed out in my house is safe From waking up 2 a delicious brunch
My name is Tim and I am just so fucking good at Battlecraft, so fucking good, I can’t even fathom my god-tier Battlecraft abilities. Currently destroying that faggot kid named Chase. SwagSwagSwag did I mention some SWAG
[[MORE]] Most intense cry I’ve had in a while, and it wasn’t even over a girl.
Janitor: FROM THE WINDOWS... TO THE WALLS...Cleaning up the bathroom stalls. Till my mop wets all these halls, all you bitches fall.
heathermorris: THE AMOUNT OF THINGS I HAVE TO DO AND I’M SITTING HERE REFRESHING MY FUCKING DASHBOARD OVER AND OVER AGAIN I HATE THIS FUCKING WEBSITE
realitybl0ws: 1. grow up and have children 2. hide babies all around the house 3. when my kid asks “where do babies come from?” respond with “where DON’T babies come from” and pull one out of a cabinet
defining lily .: advice. →
sinandserotonin: write often to keep your pen sharp speak often to keep your tongue sharper think often to make your mind the most dangerous weapon you have. don’t be afraid to support your opinions because being acquiescent never got anyone anywhere. read a lot of books so you can…
Thanks to Alyssa, Streetlight Manifesto is now in...
janecrocker: girlchan: janecrocker: girlchan: why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free teach a man to milk a fish he gets food forever… give a man a fish he has to get the milk himself are you ok i dont know how to fish
climbingonroofs: “While direct adressing of physical memory is but a distant memory (sorry) on desktop computers […]” Yeah but does your textbook make terrible puns and actually apologize for them? I wish my textbooks did this D:
If I knew then what I know now, I would never have wasted even a single minute...– Oprah Winfrey (via azspot)
The best kiss is the one that has been exchanged a thousand times between the...– (via electric-wish)
loveforeversmilealways: arlene13: why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a registered six offender i am legit in tears over this joke
rosestulipsdaises: You are the limit as x approaches 0 of sinx/x ;)
rosestulipsdaises: People are such third derivatives!
Kip!: I LOVE programming oh god.
Andrew: I think that's the first time I've ever heard someone say that
I've been programming since I was 7 →
dghost: Robin Ward offers an intelligent and balanced perspective on what is probably the biggest issue in computer science: the fact that almost everyone comes from privilege, and the fact that most people starting into computer science have been doing it for longer than everyone else around them.
spanish and italian and portuguese: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.
french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever
german: LET'S ADD A NEUTRAL NOUN HAHA
english: *shooting up in the bathroom*
gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck
Polish: here have all of these consonants have fun
japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there's three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn't western
welsh: sneeze, and chances are you've got it right. idfk
Icelandic: *stands up and cracks it's knuckles* *bitches ain't got shit*
Mandarin Chinese: You can't read a newspaper without knowing 3000 characters. Each one is its own syllable, and watch the tones or what you say will mean something completely different.
Latin: Fuckin cases and declensions and genders and it's actually pretty simple but who gives a fuck it's a dead language
consultingcriminalminds: smilingwiththebeatles: nuclear-jessels: carry-on-my-jingle-butt: jamjalex: do you ever sit there and work out the age difference between you and the celebrity you’re in love with and try to explain to yourself that 10 years isn’t THAT MUCH #try twenty 44 56 #classic rock fandom strikes again
circumcisions: circumcisions: my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour. i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
nyehs: borntobebori: i just realized i have the sex appeal of a quiggle iM LAUGHIGN REALLY HARD BECAUSE I LOOKED UP “SEXY QUIGGLE” ON DEVIANTART TO SEE IF I COULD FIND SOMETHING TO RESPOND TO THIS WITH AND
mom: why is there a hispanic man scaling our balcony with a tool belt on
me: i am juliet
me: and he is my romeo
me: no, i'm just kidding please call the cops